Let Your “Lawrences” Go

If you are an avid watcher of the HBO show “Insecure” like I am, you have probably heard about the “Bring Back Lawrence” Petition. As it turns out, fans really took to the character Lawrence, ex-boyfriend of the main character Issa Dee, played by actor Jay Ellis. He is a staple in the first two seasons but after hearing he would not be in the third, some of the audience decided to take action. And honestly, after very little thought, for me, it made perfect sense that Lawrence would not be present at this point in the story.

If you have not seen the show, beware of upcoming spoilers. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

The second season of Insecure was riddled with chaos as Issa and Lawrence attempted to  recover from a dysfunctional relationship that eventually lead to Issa’s infidelity in season one. After many mistakes on both parts, they eventually ended up facing each other and having the “grown-up” talk they should have had in the first place. The apologies were well-given and heartfelt, so much so that fans expressed their desperation for the couple to reconcile. However, while it seemed as though all that needed to be said was said and all was forgiven, they parted ways and Issa went on to begin a new chapter in her life.

It seems obvious to me that when friendship is no longer an option, this is the very best way for mature adults to move on, but apparently many others did not seem to have the same sentiment. This got me to thinking, “Is this why there are so many screwed up relationships these days?” My husband and I had a long and heated debated about holding on to things sparked by our disagreement on whether Lawrence should stay and it’s amazing how much deeper of an topic this turned out to be. I discuss it in more in the video below from my YouTube channel.

I can think of so many circumstances in which issues could have been resolved if only the people involved had the courage or the know-how to let go. To be fair, this sort of behavior is often encouraged in today’s techno-world in which it’s pretty easy to stalk profiles and and read into videos and text messages. Hell, “It’s Complicated” is a common enough theme among relationships for Facebook to even recognize it as an actual status option. But keep in mind, it is an option.

But what if we learned to truly move on and cut people off? This does not have to be negative although often times it is difficult. But, would it not be worth it to be free? Why continue to chance staying stuck on the same chapter when you can simply turn the page? Or in this case, enter a new “season”. You never know, you may just make room for for an unexpected return at a better time.

Awkward Aries: Tripping Over My Horns

Aries is represented by the headstrong ram who is fearless in her endeavors. Right or wrong, the ram makes a choice and runs with it. This trait makes us awesome leaders and some of the realest people you’ll ever know. I imagine the smooth and fully self-realized Aries is strong in their resolve. They say what they mean and mean what they say regardless of how it comes out. They bask in unconditional self-love and effortlessly cut the fat from their lives be it in the form or people, memories, materials and so forth.

As a child, I recall being less concerned about how I was received as long as I felt I was right. Sure, I was unrefined but I was bold about being me. Somewhere down life’s road, I became over-conditioned to accommodate. The conflict lied in my desire to contribute to the happiness of others’ while wanting a slice of happiness for myself. Being an oddball, the requirements of my joy were not always received well, so I learned to settle.

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The solution is quite obviously finding balance but fire signs tend to naturally lean towards extremes. Smothered by expectation, emotions ran wild – positive or negative -and this often left me wounded or looking foolish in one way or another. Exerting too much of my will led to escalated events blowing up in my face. Falling back turned me into a doormat. I was challenged with be always being perceived as either too abrasive or totally recluse. I’ve paid a huge price for growth.

Although I strive for excellence, I’m nowhere near perfection. I’m hardly ever the smoothest character in a room but I’m loving and honest. I have selfish tendencies but I’m loving and considerate. Achieving balance is an on-going challenge but authenticity is key. So is self-acceptance – even when I trip over my own horns.

Brown Skin, Conscious Mind

I believe we are all a part of one collective consciousness; a Source spirit from which we all derive. Our human circumstances play out in a way that addresses something we need to learn and overcome to further ascend. Without a human experience, we do not know suffering and therefore cannot grow as spiritual beings. On my path towards ascension, I began to realize just how unimportant race is in the overall grand scheme.

We are essentially all the same. Not even in traditional church is there talk of a colored section in heaven nor hell. This revelation was quite liberating when I first came to it, then I began to struggle again with a lingering thought. As a person of color, how can I live in this truth while also standing in the truth of my human heritage?

Even in my awareness of race being only an illusion developed by human ego, it often pulls at me like a tether that will not allow me to reach the next step towards ascension. It is not so simple to push aside when faced with the everyday obstacles and debates around racial prejudice.  However, I also realize how it has strengthened me and connected to me a rich culture of beings that excel in perseverance. So what can one do with all of this?

As for me, I live each day at a time. I follow my heart and I learn what there is to know. I  act wisely and protect my energy from unnecessary and destructive banter as best I can. I meditate on my the Inner Most and remind myself that I am an amazing being. I just consider my blackness as a boss level in this life game that I am certain I will conquer.

Inherited Proclivities

I’m my father’s daughter. At least that’s what my mother would remind me of when we’d get into spats during my teenage years. She’d say I was like members of his side of the family in fact. The last time I recall ever seeing my father, I was seven years old. It was Christmas and he was enjoying his new family when my half-sister decided to bring me along for a visit to his home. Before that, I hadn’t seen him in years and the only thing that stood out about that reunion was that he called me by my full name like a greeting in a Jane Austen novel. He died when I was about eleven years old and other than my half-sister, I have no connection with my father’s side of the family. Needless to say, with memories like these, you can imagine the self-evaluation that commenced when my mother would say I behaved like these people I didn’t really know. I supposed it could have been out of anger and bias. After all, she had no qualms about reminding of how “the fruit don’t fall too far from the tree” when she’d approve of my behavior. However, I couldn’t help but feel like there was truth to all of it.

In Psychology, it is argued that we are born with tabula rasa or a blank slate on which we develop our personalities out of experience. The other side of that argument is innatism, meaning people are born with personality traits inherited from the genes passed on by parents. The truth is that brain development is hard to predict and measure considering the evidence of both sides. I’ve certainly witnessed people who quite obviously take after their elders in every way while others could almost pass for being adopted. Even more complex examples would be those who take after ancestors but are altered by experience. So it bears the question: Where is the line drawn?

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In my experience, like many fatherless daughters, I went looking for love in the all the wrong ways often finding myself in a vicious cycle of poor choices and abandonment. I found myself blaming his desertion for my lack of direction and self-esteem. I wondered if he suffered from a troubled past that led him to make his poor choices or if it was innate somehow. The questions I’d never get to ask him crippled me and, to add insult to injury, I later found out things about my parent’s love story that suggests I’m even more like my mother than I realized. To my surprise, my self-assured mother was also looking for love in all the wrong ways when she stumbled across my father. She was a daddy’s girl and my Papa, a good man but had his vices, struggled with alcohol which eventually led to my grandparent’s divorce and somewhat of an absence in my mother’s life. I imagine this had an effect on who she became. I sometimes hate to admit it, but I guess the fruit doesn’t fall too far from the tree.

From science, experience, and observation I have developed my own theory. I think there is an aspect of us that begins with a blank slate which is our innocence; our untainted sense of optimism and imagination. We will be influenced in the best ways and the worst. No one’s slate remains clean for we could not grow if it did. Naturally, with experience filtered by influence and a touch of ancestry, we will form a sense of Self and become who we are, an ever-changing state determined by choices. Because of choice, we continued to become. I do not think about the past as I once did and I did not envision my future as I do now. With this in mind, I am assured that while I share my parent’s proclivities and am a product of my environment, I am also whoever I choose to be. Namaste.

What Does It Mean to Vibrate Higher?

Western society, lately, has begun to embrace a few ethereal philosophies. This shift has lead to the common use of a few terms that perhaps some of us aren’t quite hip to or lack clarity on. In browsing the web, yoga studios or underground media, you might have come across the phrase, “vibrate higher”. You might not have understood it but felt it resonated with you or maybe you thought nothing of it at all. In actuality, this term is grounded in science but is essentially what spirituality is all about.

In the current phase of scientific discovery, it is believed that atoms are the simplest form of all matter. These atoms bond together to create molecules which are the smallest unit of a chemical compound. The most commonly known example of a chemical compound is water which is formed by the binding of 2 hydrogen atoms and 1 oxygen atom. It is understood that molecules are in constant translational and rotational motion, meaning that even objects that appear solid are actually always moving. This is referred to as molecular vibration. In 1905, German physicist Albert Einstein presented his Theory of Relativity with the formula: E = mc2 (“m” standing for mass, “c” for light, and “E” for energy). It explains that all matter, or mass, can be converted into energy and vice versa. Energy exists on vibratory levels of low to high frequency and its characteristics, such as whether it’s visible, heat-generating, high-pitched, etc., are determined by where it falls on that scale.

Human beings are special in that we are aware of these concepts and have the ability to alter our energy, and thereby our vibrations, by the choices we make. The same way we decide which radio frequency to tune in to for our favorite music or talk shows, we have control over what we tune into on an energetic level when interacting with our surroundings. Those who consider themselves mediums or psychics who are able to communicate with the spirit realm are tuned into higher frequencies that allow them to be in touch with realities that others are not. The same would be the case for animal whisperers and prophets. According to what we know about physics, technically, all humans are capable of such skills. To some degree, most of us notice it when we get an odd feeling that something is about to happen just before it does or when we get “bad vibes” from people we just met. Some people are born with one or more of these special abilities already developed while the rest us would require much practice due to existing on such low vibrations for so long.

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Unfortunately, due to the state of Western society, we face a lot of obstacles when it comes to raising our vibrations. We are exposed to unclean and synthesized foods, we live hectically with little room for genuine spirituality, we are convinced that money and the possession of things are what make us important and that particular sizes and shapes define our beauty. This bombardment of falsehood keeps us rolling on the hamster wheel of pomp and circumstance leading us to put all our focus on things that, in essence, matter not in the grand scheme. This might explain the growing epidemic of psychological and physical dis-eases and civil unrest amongst communities. Depression, chronic pains, segregation, and hatred are all symptoms of living on lower vibrations. While it is no easy task, the simple solution to all of this is to start with the self.

Author and movie producer Darryl Anka once said, ““Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.” With this in consideration, you can manifest a better world by starting with yourself. There are a few depictions out there about how this works, one of which is a Coke commercial broadcasted a while back. It shows how small acts of kindness can have a huge impact. When we are kind, courageous, loving and generous, even in unpleasant situations, you not only do yourself a service by being your best self for your own well-being but you become an example and an inspiration for others to do the same as they go one about their lives. These are the small changes that can alter a society over time. Remember, in spite of an atoms microscopic nature, its interactions with other atoms create significant happenings every day from the formulation of the water you drink to life itself.

The next time you hear the phrase, “vibrate higher”, I hope it takes on a deeper meaning for you. Keep in mind that you are a countless amount of atoms that came together to make a countless number of ever-moving molecules. Those molecules came equipped with different levels of consciousness or vibrations that you are free to explore. I hope you consider to explore the higher planes and encourage those around you to consider it as well. When you start to operate on higher planes of consciousness, you ultimately take part in changing the world for the better. Namaste!