Awkward Aries: Misunderstood

It took me a long to realize why I find myself to be so awkward but I eventually boiled it down to one word: Fear. I experience fear all the time. As much as I love to jump into things, I fear of making the wrong choices because once I do I’ll feel obligated to run with it. As a semi-perfectionist, I fear that I will fail as a leader and put a lot of pressure on myself to be the best. I fear that my honesty will unintentionally hurt others and my truth will be misunderstood as hateful criticism. I fear opening up and having my concerns and beliefs take for petty complaints (yes, I have actually experienced these). I’ve been told my problems would be solved if I care less but I’m not entirely sure how to do that without not caring at all.

I get what they mean. When one cares too much, cares turns into concern which breeds anxiety around whatever it is an individual cares about. That anxiety is the root of the fear I experience. In constant conflict with who I am naturally, as a person, a woman, and an individual born atop the zodiac calendar, there is a constant struggle in deciphering when it’s okay to exert energy and when it’s time to fall back. Unfortunately, as a fire sign already prone to extremes, my exertion is sometimes taken as overly aggressive and my withdrawal is often mistook for being uppity – a rock and hard place.

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Honestly, I’ve gotten a bit used to it in my casual social circumstances but it is particularly frustrating in professional settings in which it’s imperative people understand you as you mean them to. As of now, I find it best to be perceived as mostly quiet but a go-getter in my performance. It’s a bit harder to make friends out of co-workers this way but I do okay to get along. I’ve accepted it.

Even more, I’ve accepted that I will always be at risk of being misunderstood. I’m complicated and I do not expect less complex people to relate to me. I never expect to be popular. I don’t even expect to be well-liked. I just make certain to show the respect I want from others because the truth is I don’t always understand other people either. Coming to this realization about myself, I also see that everyone must feel this way at one point or another – even the less awkward, well-liked, popular people.

I figure the more comfortable I am with me, the more likely I will attract others like me. In time, I hope to build a tribe of other complex-minded, mistaken individuals who are hoping to find spaces in which they are allowed to be vulnerable. If you are out there, just know you are not alone.

Awkward Aries: Tripping Over My Horns

Aries is represented by the headstrong ram who is fearless in her endeavors. Right or wrong, the ram makes a choice and runs with it. This trait makes us awesome leaders and some of the realest people you’ll ever know. I imagine the smooth and fully self-realized Aries is strong in their resolve. They say what they mean and mean what they say regardless of how it comes out. They bask in unconditional self-love and effortlessly cut the fat from their lives be it in the form or people, memories, materials and so forth.

As a child, I recall being less concerned about how I was received as long as I felt I was right. Sure, I was unrefined but I was bold about being me. Somewhere down life’s road, I became over-conditioned to accommodate. The conflict lied in my desire to contribute to the happiness of others’ while wanting a slice of happiness for myself. Being an oddball, the requirements of my joy were not always received well, so I learned to settle.

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The solution is quite obviously finding balance but fire signs tend to naturally lean towards extremes. Smothered by expectation, emotions ran wild – positive or negative -and this often left me wounded or looking foolish in one way or another. Exerting too much of my will led to escalated events blowing up in my face. Falling back turned me into a doormat. I was challenged with be always being perceived as either too abrasive or totally recluse. I’ve paid a huge price for growth.

Although I strive for excellence, I’m nowhere near perfection. I’m hardly ever the smoothest character in a room but I’m loving and honest. I have selfish tendencies but I’m loving and considerate. Achieving balance is an on-going challenge but authenticity is key. So is self-acceptance – even when I trip over my own horns.

Loving an Awkward Aries

Aries are known for being selective in partnership and when we love we go hard. This is both beneficial and problematic. On one hand, we dedicate ourselves to our chosen ones and put in great work towards success. On the other hand, we have a tendency to go overboard and become quite jealous. Being awkward only complicates this further.

I recall quite a few cases growing up in which I dedicated much energy and focus on a particular person my heart became set on even though my love was unrequited. Deep within myself, I knew I could be the perfect romantic partner to whoever would choose me and I was not always smooth about getting that point across. Aries are also very bold and upfront and on good days that meant no shame about my unusual nature. Indeed, I made plenty of friends who were drawn to my quirkiness and devotion but committed romance was a little harder to come by.

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Aries can also be known for appearing very selfish. I actually resent this stereotype mostly because I do not believe my demand for excellence is a negative, especially when I demand it from myself. It can be quite frustrating being in love or even friends with someone who will not meet you half way, especially since we are also notorious for getting turned off pretty quickly. I certainly consider myself a giver in most circumstances but it can only be one-sided before we start moving on to the next (or just back to ourselves).

If you love an Aries, please understand that our alone time is necessary for our well-being and not always has to do with how we feel about who we are with. Being heard and understood is important to us and if we feel that is lacking we are quick to become hermits or total assholes. There were times I didn’t think my fiance and I would make it for as much as we’d fall out about this but our growth took effort on both ends. I had to ease up on my love for being secluded and he had to listen more. Don’t feel bad if you and your Aries are still working this out, this work is never done (lol).

Lastly, any lover of a mature Aries – yes, even an awkward one – will need thick skin. We require a great deal of patience from our lovers. Although often not our intention, we may say things that can hurt feelings when we’re only acting out of honesty. I cannot count how many times my mouth has gotten me into trouble when I was only speaking my mind (we really don’t mean any harm). Just remember our actions are as loud as our words and whatever our intentions are, a mature Aries will not leave you guessing.

If you find a good one, I promise no one will love and challenge you more.