Fathers’ Day Tarot Reading 2018

This entry is a couple of days behind the actual day we celebrate fathers in Western society but this reading is essentially timeless. It is and will remain relevant until we ascend beyond our limited ideas about men and fatherhood that have been shaped by painful experiences. We all make mistakes and many of us have had poor relationships with our fathers if any at all. As all reading are, this one is about healing and love.

Two-Card Spread: Chariot Reversed and Moon

The state of the father in our society is currently a uneasy one. Those who are struggling with the idea of patriarchy in their family and personal life are also lacking a sense of control and direction. Due to this spiritual disconnect, instead of a victory – which an upright Chariot would represent- there is aggression and/or stagnation where there could be joy and progression.

The Moon refers to the subconscious, the psychological imprints of our past that affect our present. Maybe a poor experience with the patriarchs in the family or slacking as a standup patriarch due to psychological barriers. Until those thoughts and feelings are unveiled and handled on a deep and spiritual level, the condition of the family will not heal properly. There will only be continued aggression and shallow connection.

Namaste and blessed be.

Peace vs. Depression

I have battled depression and anxiety for quite some time and for the most part each day gets better and better. There are those moments that creep upon one who have experienced mental and emotional struggles before; sometimes we can stop it in its tracks and other times it hits us before we know it. Depression, in particular, is a tricky sensation. Unlike anxiety which characterized by obvious feelings of heightened overwhelm, depression mimics natural physiological occurrences such as fatigue, hunger, and/or boredom. Everyone experiences it differently and there are various triggers from poor nutrition and hormonal shifts to traumatic or transitional life events. Then, there’s the sensation of peace which is just as complex to the untrained mind which probably speaks to most of us in the Western world.

Having experienced both, the onset can be quite similar. Like depression, peace may look different from person to person and may even be misunderstood by people around us. Recently, I was facing an emotion I thought was negative somehow, although I knew it was not sadness nor anger. It was not joy as I could also describe myself as feeling detached; oddly careless of what my responsibilities were in that moment but without animosity. It took a mentor of mine – who happens to be Buddhist – to explain it to me best as I grasped for answers from anyone who could help me. He told me it was peace and when I told him I assumed peace to be more joyous, he said:

“Peace is peace. As such it is neutral. Still. Quiet. Otherwise it is joy. It is a myth that we need to be having euphoria to be at peace. Joy is not emptiness. It is biased. We like it better because it feels better, but it should never be considered sunyata. Notice how having no emotion can leave us with the sense that something is wrong. This is mental bias as well – that the only valuable state of mind is euphoric or happy. All states of mind are equally valuable including pain, maybe, especially pain. We have a tendency to be mentally lazy and only want to eat ice cream in our minds every day, but that is not inherently healthy. The ability to be with what is with no responsive emotion and yet full awareness is the highest state of mind.”

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I admit, it was a difficult concept to accept when just before someone suggested it was depression. I agreed to that notion as it was the closest I perceived to being right at the time but the truth is, it didn’t fully sit with me either. Then, I thought about my mentor’s comment for a couple of more days and finally it started to resonate. Indeed it was peace! Worldly things had little value to me in that moment of the present. All I cared about was being and not even my husband could fully have my attention. That may sound wrong, but from a spiritual and even natural standpoint, there are some happenings inside of us that are simply impossible to share. We must have them on our own just as our loved ones will have theirs without us.

Now, I still emphasize the importance of monitoring our well-being. However, I realize that I should not always assume a fault in my psychology when I lack joy. Not every moments requires feelings that we perceive as positive, nor is it realistic. Going forward, I will keep in mind that the foundation to having consistent well-being is to just be from time to time. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Namaste.

 

 

New Moon in Gemini

Every time I think of Geminis, I’m reminded of an old friend I grew up with from middle school through college. In many ways he was the stereotype of having split personalities around people and issues. On one hand, he was one of the most thoughtful and caring persons I’ve known. On the other, he had a quick mind and a sharp tongue, carrying no qualms about criticizing. He was outspoken and never too tied up in his emotions about anything. Yet, he knew exactly who he was and rarely, if ever, showed fear regarding how others perceived him. He was equal parts mature and childlike, often the life of the party and always had something witty to say. I envied and respected him for these traits. Luckily for all of us, we get to take part in this energy!

The new moon is in Gemini and it is a great time to formulate new ideas and take on tasks in communication. As new moons represent new beginnings, this moon is welcoming changes in the way we communicate with our partners in business and romance; maybe even with ourselves. New ventures in media may be opportune at this time, or at least to be in the head space for proper planning. It is also a good time for safe travel – in spite of the the summer storms some of us may be experiencing regionally.

As for wellness, Gemini energy is ideal for healing the body parts we often use to communicate such as the arms, hands and the lungs. I recommend exercises by Donna Eden which helps move energy throughout the body, including the arms and hands. I also recommend a breathwork exercise, 100 Breaths to Joy by Judith Kravitz. Both of which can be found online, namely YouTube. They have been awesome additions to my regular self-care routine.

However you choose to manifest newness at this time, I wish you the best! Share your newness and suggested routines in the comment section. Namaste.

Reality Marriage

Love is an important factor when deciding on a partner but, honestly, it does not conquer all. If that were true the statistics wouldn’t look so grim. According to the American Psychological Association, over half of first-time marriages in the U.S. will end in divorce. This bears the question: What’s going wrong here? It has been polled that the top reasons for these failures are 1. Getting in for the wrong reasons, 2. Lack of individual identity, and 3. Becoming lost in roles. However, we’ve known this for a while which bears the next questions: why do we keep getting married? And when we do, how do we keep screwing it up? My theory is that people are actually marrying an idea, not a person.

Over a month ago, I married the man I consider my best friend – corny, I know – but it has not always been easy. In fact, most days are not but every hardship is totally worth the growth that occurs afterwards. The thing about our relationship is that it was like so many that fail, entered into with a crap-ton of baggage and riddled with terrible communication. We cohabited for 4 years before we decided to get engaged and an additional year before we actually got hitched. Today, I never want to know a life without my husband but things weren’t always so smooth. We’ve done many things that nearly screwed our chances into a statistical demise yet somehow we not only survived but are thriving together. This may sound rather presumptuous given the odds against us. After all, couples who co-habitate before marriage are over 30% more likely to face divorce, my marriage is still pretty fresh, and we’re under 30. What makes me certain was not always so but eventually came to be. What is it you ask? The answer is complex yet simple: Realism.

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It is common that realism is regarded as synonymous with pessimism but I couldn’t disagree more. Realism is about likelihoods which has varying degrees dictated by  certain factors and what is realistic for one may not be so for another. Is it really possible to have a problem-free marriage over decades and remain in love? Perhaps but not likely. Can you really make a relationship work for the long haul under unfortunate circumstances? Absolutely! It’s quite obvious what the differences are when listening to the stories of more seasoned married couples. The successful ones are almost always rooted in realistic values and there are steps a couple must take to achieve this; a big one being the ability to move forward anew.

Realistically, no relationship has a future when stifled by the past. This means digging deep to ask and answer hard questions about our identity for ourselves and each other. We must learn to forgive offenders and let go of preconceived expectations of what the relationship is supposed to be. These perceptions are usually formulated by our need to control things as we wish to avoid pain we’ve experienced before or to live up to some false narrative. Although we may learn to draw healthy boundaries when we are honest about who we are what we want, we cannot expect anyone to fill out voids. We can only do that for ourselves. Otherwise, we will only notice their shortcomings and remain incomplete regardless of our relationships status. We must come to grips with our weaknesses and strive for improvement – notice I did not say perfection.

Truth is, life is messy, love is messy and problems are inevitable at one point or another. However, we greatly improve our chances when we know ourselves well enough to make choices in our truth. This allows us to enter into partnerships well-informed so that when hardships do occur, we realize them as opportunities for growth instead of resorting to shame, blame, and self-pity. And to be true with yourself and the ones you love, what’s more real than that?