Tarot of the Day: May 21, 2018

Today we are presented with the The World card. This card is symbolic for the constant life cycle of the human experience; the ending of the old and the start of the new. We have learned all there is to know in the passing stage and it is time to move on to the next lesson. We are ever in a state of growth and learning but can find ourselves playing out the same mistakes when we refuse to take the next steps forward.

In the Illuminated Tarot deck, The World is depicted by a globe of planet Earth with a face. The face is wearing a modest smile and when flipped is exactly the same as to express the peace we can achieve inward and outward as we keep on our journey (as above, so below). The image also contains the planet Saturn in the upper right (north-west) corner. In astrology, Saturn is the planet of time, forcing to mind the clock, enforce discipline on ourselves and get moving.

In the bottom left corner (south-east) of the image lies Jupiter. In astrology, Jupiter governs the having of abundance and is considered a social planet. This could mean a change in social status or a shift of focus from the individual Self to the universal whole. Saturn and Jupiter are very different, almost opposites, in that Jupiter is about expansion and Saturn is about solidity. Together, though, they heed us to find a healthy balance so that we are not either too restless nor too rigid.

New Moon, New Mind: May 2018

I decided to wait a few days before writing about this as I wanted to gather my own research data as to what people are experiencing. Sun and moon energy has a tendency to linger, having affects that can last days or more. In this case, we just recently experienced a pretty significant shift. The moon and Uranus are now in Taurus.

Moons in Taurus means a heightened focus on material needs and self-gratification. New moons already rise as a motivator towards new beginnings or the closing of chapters that no longer serve us. Particularly, with a new moon in Taurus, people may be experiencing a stronger draw to fleshly desires such as food cravings, sex and sensuality, financial stability and luxurious comforts. Don’t feel too guilty if you are feeling more selfish than usual, however, Uranus is governed by matters of the mind. So, while our focus on material matters is not necessarily a bad thing, there are few things to pay attention to.

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The Taurus zodiac is symbolized by the stubborn bull and since we have entered into a time of fresh starts, there are a couple of messages the cosmos are trying to reveal. If you are already over-indulging, you may feel something forcing you to take notice of this so that you may seek balance. However, if you are denying your Self something important, you may find that you are being forced to take better care.  I’ve noticed that a few people I know have been feeling unusually exhausted, myself included. These are also people I consider huge goers and doers. They tend use every inch of time to either be productive and/or take part in entertainment (in spite of the warnings from loved ones to relax). I’m willing to bet we are being guided to slow down and recharge which is important for holistic well-being.

Although this Uranus and Taurus cosmic combo may be trying to show us something about ourselves, the new moon give us an opportunity to set intentions for how we want to be and what we want to change. The exact day of a new moon’s emergence is best for setting these goals but there is still time before the following full moon.

Happy intention setting! Namaste.

Meditation for Broken Daughters

There is something special about the relationship between a mother and daughter. When all is well, there is a unique friendship that can be had; a closeness unmatched. The dark days are more bearable and our burdens not so heavy.

On the flip side, a damaged mother-daughter relationship can cause for a rocky foundation, not just between mother and child but within the daughter herself. Daughters learn from their mothers (or female caretakers) first what it means to be a woman –  how to nurture, how to take care of Self, and walk securely in her feminine being. However, our mothers cannot give us what they do not have.

When a daughter feels failed by her mother on any level, it is very easy for her to point a finger and say, “She should have taught me …” or “Why can’t she just …?”. It is difficult to take in that our mothers could be as lost as we are or worse. As children, it can be almost impossible to understand and harder, still, to let go once we become women. Instead, we learn to adapt using defense mechanisms and other survival tactics before we even realize that is what we are doing.

These methods serve us for a time but eventually its effectiveness will dwindle and in some cases, even become harmful. It starts to become apparent with the difficulty in our friendships, work, and romantic connections. It will also affect how we see and treat ourselves. There comes a very obvious time when we must try something new in order to really thrive and not just deal to survive.

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In the words of  Haruki Murakami, “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” The hurt of being failed by a parent is natural and should not be considered a weakness; it also does not have to define us. The shift must happen in the mind! No matter the situation, we can change how it affects and whether it affects us at all. Meditation is a great way to initiate and maintain that shift. Here are a few lines one can meditate on to shift her view about her mother-daughter bond:

Clingy/Controlling Mother: “I accept and appreciate my mother’s love wholeheartedly but will draw necessary boundaries where I see fit without compromise. May we both find peace.”

Hostile/Judgmental Mother: “My mother could not give me what she did not have nor demonstrate what she is not. Therefore, I thank her for being an example of what not to do so that I may be better for my Self and my house. May we both find peace.”

Absent/Unreliable Mother: “I welcome any and all positive energy to fill the space that my mother left open and cherish what [time, gifts, life, etc.] she has given me.” May we both find peace.”

Each saying ends with “May we both find peace,” to encourage the release of anger and bitterness. We sometimes claim to have let things go but will recall memories with harsh words and negative feelings. In this case, we cannot be liberated from the baggage and it will continue to show up in our lives and disrupt our growth. Whenever those negative thoughts and feelings resurface, recall one of these lines or make up your own. You cannot change who your mother is but you can change how you receive her. That change can make all the difference.

Namaste.

Healing the Mother-Child Bond

If you are one of the lucky people who already have a fantastic relationship with their mother then count your lucky stars. Everyone is not so lucky. In spite of the studied, strong resiliency of the mother-child bond, there are plenty that are based in utter dysfunction. And, seeing as how Mothers’ Day shares a month with Mental Health Awareness, it’s a grand opportunity to talk about the significance of mother-child bonding.

Unhealthy relationships with mothers not only wreak havoc on the mother-child bond but can be a detriment to a child’s psychological development. This can manifest in all sorts of problematic social behaviors, even in adulthood. A 2010 study conducted by Live Science concluded that “American families were more than twice as likely as those living anywhere else to have so-called disharmonious relationships, or those defined by strong negative feelings, such as disagreement and tension, without any strong positive feelings, including feelings of closeness and amicability [only 51% reporting otherwise].” In addition, the U.S. is also notorious for the high percentage of single-parent households, with the majority composed of single mothers. This bears the question: what’s going on in our country that only half of our entire population gets along with their parents, particularly their mothers? I wish I had a clear-cut answer to it all. Instead, I have learned lessons from an experience that falls into the less favorable statistics.

My mother and I get along for the most part now but, truth be told, we lack a strong sense of closeness. She was the type of mother that made sure I had a good work ethic and took education seriously. I also recall her being the “cool mom” in many memories. Her generosity and down-to-earth nature was popular among my friends and her involvement in my schooling made her a favorite among my teachers. I’ve always appreciated her for making me driven and organized but other aspects of our relationship took hits that rippled through my adulthood.

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Often times our personalities clashed. I felt she took some things too seriously and failed to really hear and understand me. It made me feel less than which manifested in my behavior as anxiety and self-doubt – a common result. Things really fell a part when I decided to move away from home to live with my now husband and pursue a career that was a bit different from what I thought I wanted before. Not only was my mother clear that she did not support my decisions –  be it outright or passive aggressively – she told me my life choices were a betrayal to her and all she had “trained” me to be. We have since gotten to a better place but it has been difficult to reach the level of deep connection that I desire.

Although I do not have all the answers for all the whys in these circumstances, I can offer a remedy: forgiveness. This is a pretty tall glass of water for some, but whether you or your mother just don’t understand each other some days or have the regular falling out, it takes both parties finding it their heart to let go of the past and the set expectations. Sometimes we just have to meet each other wherever we are and, in much more unfortunate cases, leave them there. If your mother is still a part of your life, Mothers’ Day may be an opportunity to reevaluate things and reach a deeper level of closeness each year or at least remind you to be grateful of the good things she did have to offer, even it were few and far between.

 

Pink Moon 2018

The moon carries a lot of magic in its mystery. The April full moon, also known as the Pink Moon due to its appearance around the time of the first flower to bloom (the pink phlox) is bringing the spirit of renewal and cleansing into our lives right now.

Typically, full moons enhance the energy already upon us. If you are experiencing negative feelings, it will be more challenge to turn that around now. If you are feeling positive, the intensity is turned up and you may feel especially joyous.

Whatever state your in at this time, allow those feelings to be felt. They are there for a reason, perhaps for a lesson to be learned or appreciation to be had. Be mindful, however, of your behavior. Heightened energy can lead to later regrettable spontaneity.

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The emergence of this full moon took place on April 29, 2018. In numerology, this date equals 8. The number 8 represents karmic value or in other words, “you reap what you sow”. Although the date has passed, the energy is still lingering. Whatever seeds you have been planting up until this point are manifesting now, be them positive or negative. But, no matter what side of the totem pole you are on, it is a good time to set your intentions going forward.

Maybe you intend to be less negative or to be more creative. Maybe you intend to bask in gratefulness going forward in your life. Maybe you plan to cut toxic people or behavior out of your space or enhance your self care routine. Whatever your goals, start meditating on them.

The Universe is listening. Namaste.